REFUGE

REFUGE

I needed this word today.  A place to feel safe, to know that I am loved....and to just be. 



"The truth is everyone is going to hurt you.  You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." 
-Bob Marley


These words are true...we a hurt everyday.  Most of the time it is not intentional, but it still happens.  Hoping and praying that I continue to have those in my life that I know I can trust.  Those that know how to say sorry.....



Deut. 7:15

And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which you knew, will he inflict on you, but he will lay them on all who hate you.



***Trust Him to do what He says!  

Integrity

I am still amazed at how my word/quote/verse a day works.  I have all of these random quotes/words/verses written out and put in three separate containers.  It is amazing to me how random drawing them, they still go so well together.  I love it! 


INTEGRITY

from dictionary.com

in·teg·ri·ty

[in-teg-ri-tee] Show IPA

noun

1.

adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

2.

the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.

3.

a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship's hull.

 

 

So basically integrity means sticking to what you think is right.  I like the last definition...unimpaired or perfect condition.   Sometimes I think that integrity is very much based on your idea of culture and moral principles.  What one culture deems as integrity...well  I just don't know that another culture would think that thing was so important, or so perfect.  I think a lot about how different my perspective is about other countries and cultures than it was when I ventured overseas 10 years ago.  Not only am I different as a person, but I am different as an American.  A few years ago it really annoyed me that people could just walk around like America was the best in the world.  Like we had all the answers, and we were the perfect example of what having integrity was.  It doesn't bother me anymore because I realize that it is not necessarily because people are stupid, it is just because they have been brought up to believe that.   The same way that people in other countries have been brought up to treat women like something that is only useful for breeding.  Or the same way that people have been brought up to lie, cheat, and steal to get their way.  America isn't perfect, and I am not claiming that I think people should continue to think it is, but I just think that we have to understand where people are coming from.  Even in my own country sometimes I have to stop and tell myself that not everyone has seen what I have seen.  This in no way makes me perfect and I still have my own prejudices...but I hope that it helps me have a little more integrity than I would have had if I had just stayed and lived a normal life in Missouri for the past 10 years.  I am thankful for my integrity, and it was started long before I went overseas.  I saw my parents, my aunts/uncles, and cousins.  They helped to form the integrity that I hold.  I am truly thankful to know right from wrong.  I am thankful that I understand the world not only from an American viewpoint, but from something a little broader too.  

 

 

 

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."  -Thomas Jefferson

 

It's true....we all know it is.  There are people that just don't have the desire to work.  Maybe it is not that they are lazy.  Maybe it is just that they are used to being handed things.  Does our society make it easy for people to just sit around and wait for handouts?  Do they feel entitled?  I can't imagine not working.  I don't think there has been a time when I have not worked, except a couple of summers when I actually got paid through the summer for teaching.  I am not sure how to stop this problem of people who don't really need handouts getting them, but I do know that it is a problem.  Meanwhile I worked my butt off to get a Master's degree and I will be paying it off for the next 5 years at least, only to have to pinch pennies in the meantime.  But I am working that's for sure.  

 

 

 

2 Timothy 1:7

 

 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

 

 

Power...I often time wonder what sort of power I have as a Christian, because I do not feel very powerful most of the time.  In fact I feel the opposite.  I feel powerless.  Powerless because right now I feel like my life continues to be in this place where I have no idea what I am doing.  Maybe that is just me being me...but maybe I am missing where the power is?   

SAVED...

SAVED...

What a word with so many meanings.  For those that do not believe in anything other than themselves saved doesn't really have much of a meaning.  I count myself very blessed that I believe in God, and Jesus.  I count myself very blessed that I have grown up knowing that there was something higher than myself.  Knowing that I am not in control of this crazy universe, and I will never have to be.  Sometimes I forget that I am saved, sometimes I let the stresses of this world knock me off my feet and throw me up against a wall.  This year I have really been put in a place of loneliness.  I do not have one person around me that I can just call up for coffee or to go to the gym.  Not a single one.  Maybe it is my own fault, maybe I need to come to terms with the fact that I needed this year to figure out my life.  I know that I am saved and that I continue to be saved no matter what stupid choices I make.  I am thankful, so very thankful. 


"A ship is always safe at shore but that is not what it's built for."  -Albert Einstein

So very true!!!!  Just like me!  I knew for a long time that I wasn't built to just live an ordinary life.  I wasn't built to just sit along and watch life pass me by.  I am so thankful that I love adventure, and this quote definitely speaks to my heart and life. 



Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!

I hate the word wait....I mean I really despise it.  What I despise even more is when people say "all in God's timing."  What is that really?  I mean what are you trying to accomplish by saying wait for God's timing.  Yes it is easy to say...ofcourse we all wish that we were patient, but you know what?  We aren't...not one of us is patient..that's what makes us human.  So, yes wait and take courage, but also give yourself grace.  For courage doesn't come because you will it, it comes because you give it over to God.  I don't even know what that truly looks like, but I know that it isn't by my own merit.  

Blog to come...

Opportunities and the Journey

Well today's word, quote and verse seem to be hitting exactly how I am feeling.  Amazing how God works, isn't it? 


OPPORTUNITIES

I received an email today from another school in the KC area.  Another teaching opportunity that I am really excited about.  At first I was a little bit worried, all of these jobs in the KC area.  I am not sure that I ever really was prepared for that area of Missouri to be home, but I am actually getting more excited about it.  I have family there that I haven't really been able to connect with since I was young.  Maybe this is the time to really be able to break down the walls that I feel have been put up.  Maybe this is the opportunity to look past my own selfishness and do something different.  I am not putting all my eggs in one basket.  After all I am probably up against at least 20-50 other applicants for a couple of positions.  Who knows if this is the right one.  Meanwhile I am excited about the opportunities that are to come.  And if this is the right job for me...well then I am excited to begin this journey. 


"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  -Lao Tzu

When I looked at this quote after reading the word of the day, I just smiled. These two things go together so perfectly.  An opportunity and a journey.  I feel like I have been on a very long journey.  One of self-discovery, a little bit of selfishness, and love.  Not truly understanding where I was meant to fit into the world.  I don't know that I have all the answers, but I know that I am content with the next step that I take.  I am content with moving back to the U.S. and settling down.  I am content with being able to start a life, and hopefully one day a family.  So for now, I will take it one day at a time.  I will live moment to moment hopeful of what is to come. 


"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

How true is this?  So very true, although sometimes I don't know what it means that Jesus Christ is the same.  I don't really have anything in my life to compare it to.  On a daily basis I am bombarded with co-workers and students that are emotional, they are up one minute and down the next.  We all know its true, because we feel it in our own lives.  Okay maybe not to that extreme, but we still all have ups and downs.  What does it mean that Jesus is the exact same everyday?  I think about my relationships with other people, and I think that even the people I trust the most, well we still have good days and bad.  We still have moments of misunderstanding and miscommunication.  Jesus is the same though.  He doesn't have mood swings, he doesn't suffer from PMS...or whatever the male version of PMS is.  He doesn't curse because he forgot to thaw the meat for dinner.  He is the exact same, so what does that mean for me?  It should mean that I can trust Him.  That is what it should mean, but does it?  Do I really live like I trust Him everyday, every second of the day?  Do I really live my life like He is the same?  Maybe something to think about!  

Consistent

Consistent...probably one of the words that I love the most, yet also really can't stand.  Consistent is a word that teachers and parents all have to be.  I am not a parent but I know that in my everyday teaching life I have to be consistent.  The one time I don't say..."what's the first thing you should do when you get your paper?"  Well that is when I will have a whole stack of papers without names.  Sure, it isn't that tough in a class of 10, but it just the fact that we can say it everyday, and then stop saying it and they just completely forget.  So...even though I find it annoying I keep saying it everyday single time a paper is passed out.  There are other areas in which I feel the need to be consistent.  My beliefs, my friendships, my eating habits.  That last one is probably the worse one for me right now.  I have really been trying to stick to only things that are naturally grown from the ground...but you know there is just something about sinking your teeth into a brownie that makes all the troubles of the world disappear.  Hopefully one day I will be able to do raw desserts too, but for now I am trying to be consistent and only eat vegetables and fruit...with a little protein added in here and there.  

"He said, 'There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.  One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live."  
-Dalai Lama

Wow!  Doesn't that just speak to me.  Today is the day that I have, TODAY!  I find myself looking at the future a lot.  Especially right now when I am counting down the days till I can step on American soil again.  I am so excited and so ready to be back in the land of the free and the home of the brave.  But today is what I have and I need to work on loving and impacting today.  Yes there is still time to plan and think about what is to come, but I can't get so far ahead of myself that I forget to just be in the moment.  


1 Peter 5:7
" casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

Oftentimes I forget to look to God.  I will admit that there are some days that I just let my thoughts towards him pass me by.  he knows what I need.  He knows how to help me see who I need to be.  I rely on Him to get me through.  So today I cast my anxieties...about the future, about tomorrow....I lay it down.  

Inspire

Word:  Inspire

When I think of this word I think about all the people that have inspired me in the past.  I think about the people that have impacted me the most, my teachers, my family, and my friends.  No matter what we do in life we have been inspired by at least one person to keep going and never give up.  For the students that walk into my classroom each and every day I hope that I am someone that inspires them.  I want to be able to teach so that they are eager to learn more on a daily basis.  I want to be able to see their faces light up, to understand their wants and desires.  I hope that I help them to make connections on a daily basis to see things in a new way.  

Tomorrow begins a new week.  I have been inspired this weekend by blogs that I have read, IG pictures and of course finally getting involved in the world that is twitter.  Social media is taking over my life, but I must say that to me it is inspiring, because I don’t want to use it just to have something to waste my time.  I want to use it so that I can be a better person.  I want to use it to inspire.  

If your eyes are opened, you’ll see the things worth seeing.”  -Rumi

What’s worth seeing?  I mean really what is worth my time and effort.  On the weekends I have to take the shuttle in order to get to the grocery store.  Some days I do a great job of looking at the people along the way as we drive down the street.  Today I was more interested in my book than I was really seeing the world around me.  Some days it is just really tiring to understand all that is in the world.  But you know what?  The days that I feel rushed and out of sorts are the days that I forget to stop and just open my eyes to see the things worth seeing.  

Mark 10:27

 

²⁷ Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”


I need to remember this.  Most days I get so caught up in myself that I forget to just rely on God.  I forget that the big picture is that God has this crazy world under control.  It is just so stinking hard sometimes to realize that even among the problems there is a purpose.  Sometimes I just don't understand all the crazy things that are going through my head.  Sometimes I just want to give up.  But it is then that I have to remind myself that God is greater than my doubts, and bigger than my fears.  He loves me, and He truly does want me to succeed.   I follow him through the things that steal my joy and take my energy.  Trying to focus and love.  Trying to inspire those around me to turn to him too.